3 Ways to Invest in Yourself While Single

A prime opportunity to see, do & grow.

3 min readMay 21, 2021

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At one time or another, I’m willing to bet that we’ve all felt being single was a curse. A glitch in the karma matrix keeping us from the partnership and the happiness we deserve.

After spending my post-college life as a single female, not addicted to retail, I wasn’t sure I’d ever meet someone to satisfy my Gemini need for intellectual conversation and make my life easier rather than harder.

I can’t put my finger on the exact moment of my paradigm shift, but I realized that being single was a gift, not a curse. An opportunity to spend quality time with the person I go through life with, myself.

Here’s how I used my time to build self-confidence, learn what brought me enjoyment, and ultimately prepare myself for the true love I never saw coming.

1. Reduce time spent on online dating.

Great matches can start in dating apps, but I got to a point where swiping and small talk felt like a chore. I was looking for something specific among a sea of endless profiles. I took back my time, deleted the apps and committed to attending more in-person events that matched my interests. I took a rowing class, joined a nonprofit board and professional organization, attended startup community events, and went on my first solo international trip to Mexico.

2. Write down personal growth goals for the year.

I met with a mentor five years ago who encouraged me to put my goals on paper. I taped my goals to the wall of my apartment and drew out a chart to map my income and savings goals. I met my salary goal two years ahead of schedule and the pride in what I’d accomplished propelled me forward towards bigger growth.

3. Give kudos freely.

When I see a sister or a brother glowing, I recognize it beyond a simple like on social media. Whether it’s nominating someone for an award or buying product from a budding entrepreneur, lifting up others connects me to people. Three years ago, I read an op-ed in a business journal that resonated with me. I sent the writer an email commending him on his article. Six months later, we connected at an event. Now we’re engaged with a baby.

Time is precious and we spend the most time with ourselves. Invest in doing things that bring you joy and don’t be afraid to get out in the world alone. Recognize others for the progress they make along their journey. People who celebrate others are magnets for attraction.

Katelyn Harris Lange is a writer, community connector, and recruiter passionate about economic justice and community-centered business growth. She is a career guide and philanthropist involved in the African-American Women’s Giving and Empowerment Circle.

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Katelyn Harris Lange

Here for economic justice and community. Philanthropist and power shifter writing about work, social impact & relationships.