Self-Care for Those Expecting
Newly Pregnant & Overthinking Everything
I started this article five months into my first pregnancy; the first time I felt a consistent state of calm inside my body since finding out the news.
At steady-state, I’d characterize myself as a worrier. On a scale of 1 (don’t have a care in the world) to 10 (in a constant state of worry), I’d rate myself a 5-6, depending on the day. Naming myself a worrier, helps me remember to let it go. I hope there’s a time in the future where I can cast off the label, but something tells me motherhood won’t be the remedy. 🙃
Rumination isn’t enjoyable and there’s a definite opportunity cost for the time I spend mulling over worst-case scenarios.
As a first-time pregnant lady, I’ve learned that the joy in the process can be overshadowed by fears about the unknown and dread about being defective in some way.
I never utilized Google Search as frequently as I have while pregnant.
After two positive at-home pregnancy tests, Google search became a close advisor (of course I’m taking everything with a grain of salt). Below were some of my first search queries.
- Early symptoms of pregnancy? Can you feel it right away?
- Chance of false positives with at-home pregnancy tests?
- Black OBGYN’s near me
- Risk of miscarriage in the first trimester
- When to tell your family you’re expecting
- How to choose between a doctor and a midwife
- Plus 20 others, but you get the picture
Bigger questions followed as we started the process of lab tests and doctor visits. The first four months felt like a long walk through the forest. I couldn’t get out of the trees and into the sun to enjoy this significant life event and see it for the gift that it is.
Everything I didn’t know plus looming genetic testing and anatomy scans felt like a shadow. It felt too early to celebrate or make real plans. What if the alcohol I drank before knowing I was…